You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
