The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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