I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
