The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
