You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
