so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
