operation have a gay friend backfired
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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