I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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