you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
