why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
