college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
