no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
