that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
