i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
