my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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