Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
