Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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