The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
