Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
