Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
