Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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