you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
