You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
