I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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