Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
