glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
