WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
