he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
