"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
