We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
