is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
