I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
