do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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