and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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