So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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