you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
