Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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