i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
