I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
