Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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