dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
