Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there was a trapeze. enough said
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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