I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
