I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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