dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
