I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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