You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Your penis caused this!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
