Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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