I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
