I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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