I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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