the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have aggressive nipples.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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